Alliance Command

I saw a screening of the new G.I. Joe movie at Paramount Pictures in Hollywood. Growing up, the A Real American Hero universe created by Larry Hama, and marketed so superiorly through Hasbro, was my favorite. The cartoon – specifically when Sunbow oversaw creative production – remains one of the best from the 1980’s. Thus, when the announcement for a live action movie came out, I was ecstatic – just like for Transformers.

Most people hated the Superbowl trailer, I however liked it. In the months to come, bad buzz killed initial excitement. The decision to change the team from an American Special Forces unit to an international one frustrated me. Early reviews and a critical thrashing put a further damper on things. It’s obvious some critics like tearing things down, such as Kyle Smith of the New York Post who stated “you’d feel safer with the Croatian navy on your side” then G.I. Joe. In Kyle’s unflattering rant, he also mistakes Snake Eyes for Duke in a pivotal scene.

THREE BEST THINGS ABOUT G.I. JOE MOVIE

Snake Eyes vs. Storm Shadow: The coolest good guy and bad guy were KILLER. Their back-story, fight scenes, and character aura’s were perfect.

COBRA Characters: Sienna Miller was fantastic as the Baroness. Destro and all his M.A.R.S weapons systems were tight. Zartan was solid and COBRA Commander (pre-horrible mask) was setup very well.

Action Sequencing: The action in this movie is fast-paced, well done, meaningful to the story, and fun to watch. It was like the cartoon came to life on screen…when comic type movies pull this off, they work.

THREE WORST THINGS ABOUT G.I. JOE MOVIE

COBRA Commanders Mask: The stupidest getup ever – a plastic six-pack thing that doesn’t  fit the profile of COBRA Commander at all. Give us the hooded or reflective mask Commander where he looks badass, not the Chucky Cheese variation.

G.I. Joe Corniness: There were several instances making me cringe in the made-for-TV Lifetime channel kind of way. General Hawk – sorry Dennis Quaid – was pretty terrible. Some of the dialogue from him and other Joes should’ve been nixed, along with The Pit cheering sessions. Distractions hard to ignore.

G.I. Joe Character Selection: The depth of the Joes was always cool. In the movie there was no attempt to show more of the core team. Ripcord, Breaker, and Heavy Duty weren’t top-five Joes to begin with. Give me a cameo by Beachead, Lady Jay, Flint, Low-Light, or Leatherneck rather then throwing in a random appearance by Brendan Fraser.

I went to Paramount last Saturday with relatively low expectations, hoping Stephen Sommers did the original classic proud. I’m happy to report – in my opinion – he did. Overall, Rise of Cobra is a fun, action-packed, cartoon come to life. Most fans are liking this movie – count me in that group. I highly recommend seeing this film and can’t wait for G.I. Joe II.

File Under:   Pop Culture